Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood

Sports day - A wet day.

Sports day - A day when my friends and I loitered around the school.

Expected since yesterday...

Some people do not absorb enough before blurting out their opinions. These kind of opinions fall into a special group, a group called 'rubbish'. They do not try understand others, before being understood by others and making their point. (5th of the 7 habits of highly effective people by steven covey)

I lost my locker key you see? Thus when I asked some admin person for advice, she told me to pay 5 dollars to the school to make a new one. There, I went to the office today while loitering and talked to this woman sitting at the desk.

Me: "Excuse me, I lost my locker key, what should I do? (I asked what I should do just to get her into the topic first)"

Her: "You lost your locker key?"

Me: "Yes"

Her: "Well, you have to go and get the estate staff in charge of the lockers to help you then, I can't help you with that."

Me: ...

Her: "They would have to break into your locker."

I guessed that that meant I was not supposed to hand the money to her.

Later...

Me: "Excuse me, but since I do not have the locker key, even if my locker is broken, then how am I supposed to return the key?"

Her: *Blurs out*

At this point of time, I really felt like telling her that I was the boy she saw 5 minutes ago and asked her if she still remembered me, but I control my frustration in order to avoid trouble.

Me: "I lost my locker key."

Her: "Get the estate staff to break your locker."

This is getting no where...

Me: "But this morning it was announced that I have to return the locker key and if I break it and get all my stuff out I still will not have the key."

Her: "Wait wait wait... Some person broke into your locker?!"

Me: *Repeats*

Her: "Oh this you have to tell the estate staff"

Okay, I got the point. She does not know anything, I cannot ask her. I have to ask the estate staff. But one last question...

Me: "Ok thanks, but may I know where I can find the estate staff?"

Her: "In the estate office." (Might as well not answer my question)

Me: "Where is the estate office?"

Her: *Pauses* "Hey boy, you have to take responsibility for your actions okay? You lost your own locker key and don't expect me to help you with everything right." (Not the exact words but the intensity is not exxagerated at all"

By now I was already quite angry and turned to look at my friends...I replied in a voluntary impatient tone.

Me: "Yes I know I have to take responsibility, but now since I have to look for the estate staff and they are in the estate office and I do not know where the estate office is how am I supposed to get my problem fixed?"

Her: "Alright wait I would make a call."

On the phone: "Hello, this boy had lost his locker key and he has to return the key today...(I never said that)."

And she continued talking about things she assumed that I had never said myself. I looked down at my clenched fists. I loosened them.

Finally...

Her: "Do you know who (estate staff's name) is?

Me: "Er no..."

Her: "Oh my..."

Just when I was about to 'grrrr...' at her not helping me at all, D.W. came.

D.W.: "You lost your locker key?"

Me: "Yes"

D.W.: "Can you remember where you put it?"

Me: "No, it was in my wallet, then six months ago it disappeared."

D.W.: "And you only inform us now?"

Me: "I kept on forgetting."

D.W.: "I hope there isn't any food inside..."

Me: "A few sweets"

D.W.: "There has got to be a lot of ants now. Anyway, you email this person...blablablabla..."

She gave me the email address and asked the other woman, "Do you want him to Cc it to you?"

Her: "No No No thanks at all...Nothing to do with me. Students these days...just do not know how to take responsibility..."

Yes I agree, I responsible for my missing key and it is my fault, but although I am responsible that I do not know where the estate staff are and who to contact, why is it my fault? If I knew how to, I would have taken 'responsibility long ago' and not waste some 10 minutes of my time in that office trying to make my point.

Thats settled.

Before more trouble ensued, I quickly walked out of the office with my friends...