The Periodic Table of the Elements Memory Train - Part 3

Now I'm just going to complete this thing for the sake of doing so. It just doesn't feel write to start things without ending them, no matter how horrible the ending is.

"Throughout my journies, I have never encounter any LANTHANIDE metals, let alone Barium!"

"Then you shall feel the wrath of my nuclear submarine with HAFNIUM nuclear reactors!"

But before the bear fired, he got tantalised by a bag of TANTALITE. So the bear grabbed it and ran away.

Tin tin jumped onto his rocket, switched on the TUNGSTEN lightbulbs as headlamps, and started his RHENIUM rocket engines.

The bear cried: "OSMIUM comes ofter rhenium doesn't it?"

"And next would be irritating IRIDIUM wouldn't it? How do you expect this sort of thing is going to help anyone memorize the order of elements?"

The bear replied, "You have a point there, but you'll never catch me because I have all the PLATINUM and GOLD in the world to distract you."

And then the bear leapt of the surface of the earth and flew towards MERCURY

Do you know how to spell THALLIUM? It's T-H-A-L-L-I-U-M!

The bear LEAD the rocket to mercury. It turns out that mercury had inhabitants who installed BISMUTH fire sprinklers all over the place in case mercury caught fire...

The bear thought: "This surface is rather lifeless..." So he took out a bag and sprinkled POLONIUM which he thought was a synonym of pollen. The inhabitants saw this and demanded for ASTATINE, RADON, FRANCIUM, RADIUM and ACTINIDE metals.

And thus the whole story repeats itself.

This is by far the most STUPID thing I have ever written and I'm glad I won't have to bother about it anymore.

The Periodic Table of the Elements Memory Train - Part 2

The bear picked up a piece of ruby (RUBIDIUM) and shielded the camera from the light. The light hit the ruby and shattered it, setting off three kinds of fireworks substances, STRONTIUM carbonate, nitrate and sulphate. "No!!! Why three o' em?! (YTTRIUM)" cried the bear. "Zzzz...should have kept them in ZZZIRCONIUM pipes." The bear used a NIOBIUM superconducting magnet to suck the villagers into a cage to trap them.

The rest of the villagers weren't happy at all and they turned into an angry MOLYBDENUM, or MOB for short. However their primitive weapons were no match for the HI TECHNITIUM defenses the bear had. The villagers therefore used their smarts and flicked the RUTHENIUM switches off, turning the place into darkness. "HEY! that was Rude of 'em!" The next thing he knew the bear fell down and rolled them (RHODIUM) over with his weight.

The villagers knew they were losing, so they called a PALLADIUM plated paladin for assistance.

"10 bags of SILVER for me to slay the bear!" he droned and fell asleep. The villagers replaced his boxes with fully charged Nickel - CADMIUM batteries. But they were not suitable for the product, so the paladin started talking in an INDIUM (indian) accent.

Fortunately, TIN tin, having travelled the world, can understand him, on the condition that they did took back the silver, as he was ANTI-MONEY. So he took the silver pieces and sent them to the TELLERIUM, the place where bank tellers live. The paladin got angry and swept tin tin off his feet. The villagers applied IODINE on his wounds. Then they used radioisotopes of XENON to image his innards to make sure he was okay.

Tin tin looked at his CESIUM based atomic clock, "Oh dear! I'm running late. Better get going." "Not so fast!" The bear stopped him. "I heard you are in cahoots with these people. Give me BEARIUM and I will be appeased. Barium's my favourite!"

To be continued...

Okay this is getting really stupid, but admit it, almost all metals look similar and are mostly used in metallurgy and making alloys and stuff, and they nearly always and in -ium.

The Periodic Table of the Elements Memory Train - Part 1

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One day a HYDROGEN airship selling HELIUM balloons landed in front of a LITHIUM battery shop to buy some precious BERYL crystals.

The shopkeeper told the pilot "we sell batteries here, not crystals you moron!" which was only expected considering the pilot was a bear, making him a BORON. Borons, just like any other living organism consists mostly of carbon with excess nitrogen in them making them really muscular but at the same time exceptionally dumb.

Taking in a deep breath of OXYGEN, the Boron realised that his mouth really stank, so he took out his FLUORIDE toothpaste and started brushing his teeth. This made him grab a lot of attention from other customers like a NEON sign in the middle of a rural village where SODIUM chloride (Salt) was very expensive. What makes this village worse was that it did not contain any traces of chlorophyll (MAGENSIUM) which makes it unsustainable.

The Bear thought of this immediately and boarded a ALUMINIUM hull aeroplane to render assistance to the villagers. Landing was rough, as the ground was covered in SILICON filled sand and soil. The bear cried "No wonder there aren't any plants, this soil is PHOSPHOROUS deficient!

Just then, a snake bit him. The bear threw SULFUR on it and it got angry. The snake chased him and the bear ran and jumped into a CHLORINATED swimming pool. An ARGON filled light bulb sprang up in his mind. He had an idea on how to re-establish this community.

First, he gave POTASSIUM rich fruits and vegetables to the weak and frail villagers to eat. Then, he fed them CALCIUM laden milk to build up their bones. Next, the bear donated high end sports equipment made of SCANDIUM alloys to build up their strength. Then the villagers got strong and started getting greedy. They demanded the bear to give them TITANIUM and VANADIUM alloy fighter jets coated CHROME green. But their metal industry was developed yet, so the bear started ordering MANGANESE to process IRON and steel.

The bear wasn't pleased at the villagers' ungrateful nature, so he secretly installed an electromagnet made of COBALT on his aeroplane and turned it on, sucking all their metal away from the village. The villagers were very sad, and tried to appease the bear by giving him their NICKEL coins.

However, the bear was not easily swayed. Eventually, the villagers were left with no choice but to cut the COPPER wires of the aeroplane electronic system to stop the bear from taking their metal away. The instant they were cut, brass (copper + ZINC) instruments started sounding all around them. The bear ran in and shouted "How dare you people destroy my GALLIUM and GERMANIUM circuit boards?!"

The villagers ran towards the bear and tried to force ARSENIC down his throat in an attempt to silence him. The bear broke free and forced their faces down onto the photocopier that uses SELENIUM to photocopy their faces, used his old-fashioned camera with silver BROMIDE photography film to capture their images. However, the villagers turned on a flashlight filled with KRYPTON gas, directing it towards the camera and ruining the photographic film.

To be continued...