The bear picked up a piece of ruby (RUBIDIUM) and shielded the camera from the light. The light hit the ruby and shattered it, setting off three kinds of fireworks substances, STRONTIUM carbonate, nitrate and sulphate. "No!!! Why three o' em?! (YTTRIUM)" cried the bear. "Zzzz...should have kept them in ZZZIRCONIUM pipes." The bear used a NIOBIUM superconducting magnet to suck the villagers into a cage to trap them.
The rest of the villagers weren't happy at all and they turned into an angry MOLYBDENUM, or MOB for short. However their primitive weapons were no match for the HI TECHNITIUM defenses the bear had. The villagers therefore used their smarts and flicked the RUTHENIUM switches off, turning the place into darkness. "HEY! that was Rude of 'em!" The next thing he knew the bear fell down and rolled them (RHODIUM) over with his weight.
The villagers knew they were losing, so they called a PALLADIUM plated paladin for assistance.
"10 bags of SILVER for me to slay the bear!" he droned and fell asleep. The villagers replaced his boxes with fully charged Nickel - CADMIUM batteries. But they were not suitable for the product, so the paladin started talking in an INDIUM (indian) accent.
Fortunately, TIN tin, having travelled the world, can understand him, on the condition that they did took back the silver, as he was ANTI-MONEY. So he took the silver pieces and sent them to the TELLERIUM, the place where bank tellers live. The paladin got angry and swept tin tin off his feet. The villagers applied IODINE on his wounds. Then they used radioisotopes of XENON to image his innards to make sure he was okay.
Tin tin looked at his CESIUM based atomic clock, "Oh dear! I'm running late. Better get going." "Not so fast!" The bear stopped him. "I heard you are in cahoots with these people. Give me BEARIUM and I will be appeased. Barium's my favourite!"
To be continued...
Okay this is getting really stupid, but admit it, almost all metals look similar and are mostly used in metallurgy and making alloys and stuff, and they nearly always and in -ium.
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