Outward Bound - The Closing Chapter

The past four days have been brimmed with a kaleidoscope of emotions.

Now that it was over, I did not know whether to feel excited or emotional.

Time seemed to pass slowly as we packed our stuff into the stores, with each moment being a precious trickle of draining time we have left.

***

This course let me open my eyes to some of my peers around, to see them for who they really are, and not based on stereotypes.

Some people whom I thought were worth admiring, were not so much after I have experienced this with them, and made me realise that they are just self-centered.

Others have let me changed my opinions of them for the better.

Ananya seemed like a really good friend to me for these days, when I was alone and the only company I had was my shadow.

At the jetty when it was about to depart, Cheng Ho sat around in a circle to share apologies and thanks. I believe I could express myself well, only not in an impromptu, so I got pretty stunned and said something rather stupid and for the rest of the time until we boarded the boat, depressed.

"Thank you everyone and sorry everyone"

I mean, I was pretty under a lot of stress then, especially when the instructor kept on emphasising on how important it is the share reflections, and not being selfish to share thoughts et cetera.

But that was something I did not believe in. Some feelings of ours is best kept secret, and if not even oneself can be the shelter under which this seeks refuge, wouldn't the world be a such terrible place where everyone of us knows what the other is thinking?

People thinking about crimes would have been caught before they acted. This reminds me of a movie - Minority Report.

Prophets were able to detect imminent crimes that were about to happen, and thus the would-be perpetrators were arrested. Problem was that those caught haven't done anything yet. Not even being given the chance to turn back.

What a world it would be if everyone could see each others' minds.

That stupid statement I made was simply a passing statement I bought time with, however still, I could not make more words come out of my mouth. I was waiting for me to get reprimanded at just like I was while doing the DDD, but nothing happened. I felt worst, it is like people had given up on this quiet sensitive word-watching brat.

I bought a shirt and a bottle. They were quite nice. Once I boarded the bus, the world of Outward Bound with its painful memories were like being left behind. Painful as in the normal painful, in addition, the painful memories of losing happy memories. I was glad to be on my way back home.